


In Good Times And In Bad Times

by PatchworkIdeas



Series: WinterFRE 2020 [36]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: But while I wrote it with a somewhat hopeful note, Chronic Illness, Fluff, Gen, M/M, Perspective of a loved one taking care of the sick one, but refusing to give up or bow to it, loving and smiling despite it, memory problems, more like: it's written with acceptance of that illness and it's consequences, soft, this doesn't exactly have a happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-21
Updated: 2020-03-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:41:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23226481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PatchworkIdeas/pseuds/PatchworkIdeas
Summary: Kili visits Fili everyday.
Relationships: Fíli/Kíli (Tolkien)
Series: WinterFRE 2020 [36]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1604650
Comments: 1
Kudos: 12
Collections: GatheringFiKi - Winter FRE 2020





	In Good Times And In Bad Times

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Prompts:
> 
> 52\. Amnesia  
> 50\. Mental illness

“Good morning Fili!” Kili called into the room, cheerful as always, setting the basket with fresh fruit, sweets and books on the table.

“Should I know you?”

The smile became strained, but didn’t leave Kili’s face. It was one of those days then.

“Should doesn’t really matter, does it? You do or you don’t. Do you want to talk with me regardless or would you prefer to be left alone? I brought you some books if you want to read.”

Fili looked at him uncertainly, like he had something on the tip of his tongue, but couldn’t quite reach it. But there was no suspicion, or worse, anger.  
Moderate day then, hopefully.  
Perhaps still salvageable.

“Why can’t I remember you? I think I should, but...” It hurt so much, to see and hear Fili so vulnerable. Uncertain, instead of strong and confident like he used to be. He was, some days, good days. Kili held on to those. They were worth braving the truly bad ones for. _Fili_ was worth braving _everything_ for. Even if he couldn’t remember if Kili was there or not.  
Kili still was.  
Everyday.

“You were in an accident, quite a while ago. You are mostly recovered, but occasionally your brain can’t quite connect things like it’s supposed to. It will pass. I know it feels like a loose tooth you want to probe all the time, but it will pass sooner if you give it some rest. I can answer any questions you do have, of course. Or we can just play something together. Whatever you like.” He would have loved to go out, enjoy the first rays of spring. A little picnic. He had managed to convince the staff he could catch Fili’s state worsening fast enough on good days, but they stayed adamant on all others.

He opened the window instead, to let some of the warm breeze in. He relaxed when the unmistakable scent of spring hit his nose. The smell of new beginnings. It had always been his favorite season. Fili had been more interested in the fall, but…

“That smells good.” Kili heard his brother sigh from behind him, though he also knew without looking that Fili was pulling his covers up higher. Kili reached over into the wardrobe and gave him an extra blanket. The look of astonishment was both sad and amusing.

“You know me well, don’t you? I knew you well once, too...” Fili looked wistful as he pulled the new blanket just right. Kili didn’t help. Fili didn’t like to be babied even on the best days.  
Kili hated the days were he needed it, wanted it. They were bad in their own way.

“We knew each other better than we knew ourselves. Inseparable. That hasn’t changed, and never will.”

Fili looked at him for a long time. Still probing, most likely, or maybe, hopefully, reacting to his words, to the tone he said them in. Kili had always been good at letting warmth suffuse his speech, but it was always present when he talked to Fili.  
He refused to be anything but, for Fili.  
None of this was his fault.

“K..ii..li?” His name fell from Fili’s lips with a stutter, like it was extracted with excruciating care. But it fell, and Kili couldn’t stop himself from lighting up if he tried.

He sat on the bed, saw nothing but hope on that beautiful face, and dared to take the once strong hand in his. He got a squeeze.

“Yeah. I’m Kili. And I’m here for you. Always.”

Warmth slowly leaked into the icy blue eyes, and Kili gently brought up their hands, never looking away. The warmth remained. Kili kissed the back of Fili’s hand, a promise, a statement, something that had been theirs for years.

A gentle smile settled on Fili’s lips - and stayed.

Maybe it would be a good day after all.


End file.
